Las 6 claves para triunfar en Tinder

En los últimos años, la probabilidad de encontrar a alguien especial mediante una app de encuentros ha aumentado considerablemente. Apps como Tinder, OK Cupid o Happen entre otras, van más allá de su vulgar reputación de 'apps para echar un polvo', ya que su utilización se extiende a todo tipo de posibilidades.

En este artículo se enumerarán 6 claves para tener éxito en éste tipo de aplicaciones. Pero primero habrá que aclarar lo que significa realmente eso de 'tener éxito'. Para ello se ha de aclarar lo que no es: una forma para conseguir más matches (cuando las dos personas dan el OK) ni una fórmula para follar más cuando quedas.

Una persona que tiene éxito exprime al máximo esta herramienta para conocer a gente con similares afinidades, mentalidad interesante y actitud atractiva, hacer planes alternativos o tener experiencias enriquecedoras.

1. Trágate tu ego. Olvida todo prejuicio que puedas tener sobre lo que te puedas encontrarte aquí. Que un gran número de personas no sean de tu interés no quiere decir que sea imposible encontrar a alguien que haga la búsqueda merecedora de esfuerzo.

Toda herramienta es buena si ésta nos ayuda a encontrar gente interesante. Lo que se necesita es mucha paciencia y tomárselo con optimismo y buen humor. Incluso en el peor de los casos, siempre nos llevaremos una experiencia que nos ayudará tanto a aclarar lo que queremos, como a descubrirnos a nosotros mismos.

2. Abre tu mente. No es tarea fácil saber lo que uno busca, las personas tenemos el poder de transmitir emociones y fácilmente nos podrían apetecer cosas diferentes dependiendo de con quién nos juntemos.

Está bien saber lo que buscas pero tampoco está mal abrirse a planes alternativos, ya que nunca se sabe lo que puede uno descubrir. Puede que encuentres a alguien que le guste el paddle surf, lo pruebas y pasa a ser tu actividad favorita.

3. Ve a por un buen plan. Generalmente, sabemos lo que nos gusta y podemos prever cuáles serán los planes con los que más disfrutaremos. Entonces, ¿por qué no compartir nuestras pasiones? Nos aseguramos que la actividad sea de nuestro agrado aun errando con la compañía.

4. Sé sincero y haz que los demás lo sean. En un campo tan emocional como la interacción entre personas, nunca está de más recordar las intenciones de cada uno para ver si las partes avanzan en la misma dirección.

Otra faceta que ayuda a clarificar el tema, es proporcionando una información adecuada sobre ti, fotos que describan quién eres y una descripción que complemente y de dinamismo a tu imagen. Es difícil negar la superficialidad en este entorno, pero dependerá de nosotros el aportar algo más que unas fotos para que la otra persona se haga una idea de cómo puedes ser, aparte de físicamente.

Ganarse la confianza de la persona con la que quieres hablar será una de las misiones más importantes, para ello, no dejar dudas acerca de quién eres ayudará mucho a la causa.

5. Sé consciente de que hay un interés mutuo. Cuando llega el match, es señal de que hay algo que de alguna forma ha llamado la atención de la otra persona o le ha creado cierto interés. En un principio no sabemos lo que es, pero es algo a descubrir y no estará mal como rumbo inicial. 

Nos evitará futuros problemas de que una parte quiera amistad y la otra algo más.

Se ha de tener en cuenta que las culturas de cada país influyen a la forma de utilizar estas aplicaciones. Mientras que en algunas están muy sexualizadas, en otras son más usadas para hacer nuevas amistades.

6. Sé positivo. Todo el mundo quiere tener personas positivas a su alrededor, no hace falta fingir nada, solo tomárselo con filosofía y paciencia, sabiendo que este juego puede acarrear grandes premios y que los boletos no premiados no serán más que hechos que enriquecerán nuestra experiencia y nos ayudarán a conocernos mejor.

Por último, decir que las apps como Tinder están bien, pero lo que está mejor es jugar el día a día en la vida real. No debemos acomodarnos con las facilidades que nos ofrecen estas apps, ya que nunca se sabe dónde encontraremos a personas extraordinarias.

Tinder tiene más de 50 millones de usuarios, en el mundo viven más de 10.000 millones de personas. ¿Por qué limitarse a ese 0,5%? Puedes usar esta herramienta, pero no descuides el mundo que te rodea ;)

Not people but individuals

People and individuals sound similar, don’t they? However, there is a slight but huge conceptual difference between them. Every time we speak about people we regard to people in general, without focusing on the uniqueness of each person. Individuals tend to be worthy and special people who really deserve to be named as individuals. In fact, they don’t try to follow standards and they get others’ appreciations.

So let’s say people, ‘just’ people, are playing in a lower league. Many of them superficial people just trying to create an image just to fit in this society.

I can’t stand arrogant people who think they are more than others just following such a stupid way of measuring as how popular you are on social networks. Consequently, they get what they give, their biggest aspiration is to become a tasty piece of meat, without caring about their thoughts or feelings.

Recently, I have realized how basic people are, without any considerable goal in their lives, living among predictable conversations instead of going beyond, looking disable for going deeper.  Indeed, some of them are nice, maybe they won’t have deep talks often but at least they enjoy their lives and they transmit good vibes. Nevertheless, others just spend their miserable lives submerged in envy, jealousy, dishonesty and arrogance. Therefore, you can only get negative vibes from them, even if they look as if they were OK among them and they try so hard to show a fake image of cool people through social networks. Come on, don’t be so simple! ;)

As far as I am aware, I like the primary concept of social networks, which should be sharing beautiful and interesting content with your friends, moreover, inspiring each other and to be a flown of knowledge. But it’s actually quite far from the reality, where you can find many bullshit and fake interactions among some worthy posts made by individuals who are succeeding because of being themselves.

I wouldn’t say image itself is not important at all, it is useful to call people’s attention on first impressions. Actually, it is easy to call the attention on people, the difficult aim is to reach their hearts, what’s more, to be unforgettable to them. This is a pretty nice reason to exist, even more in these times that looks like humanity is getting mad. Improving as individuals should be a must do task for everyone.  

Indeed, travelling is a good way to improve ourselves, after seeing other cultures and personalities, you not only appreciate more what you have an who you are, but you also learn from other points of view. In this way, you can add lessons to your knowledge that you couldn’t have in your hometown.

To sum up, I would encourage you to be a nice individual, to stablish goals in your life, to be passionate with what you do, to enjoy and be yourself.

I recently heard a phrase that I love: ‘never change’, which means you are doing a great job :)

Are you missing someone?

Do you want to know how rich you are? Don’t look at your bank account, look and count the times you remember people during random days.

It is positive to be an independent person, so that you know how to enjoy yourself without needing anyone to do what you desire. But you can appreciate the good company on the way of conquering the utopic infinite happiness.

As you meet new people and you share amazing new moments, your love increases and you realise that you are collecting small pieces of a big treasure.

When you meet someone who is super cool, don’t you feel so fortunate? It could be even better than having sex, the highest level of intimacy that can be reached in this life.

It is said that the energy is transferable, so your closest company can transfer you those positive vibes that you need not only in bad moments, but also in goods, in order to do it even more epic and be part of unforgettable moments. We can conclude the famous saying that “the life is not about the times you breathe but the moments that leave you breathless”.

Have you ever smiled because a funny moment came to your mind? For sure yes. People who are in your mind are for sure playing in the highest league. Our memory is quite selective so we remember especially the important moments. So if it happens frequently, it means that we are having quite interesting life.

Have you ever thought about the importance of being remembered? What is the difference between having lived or not? It’s being part of other’s lives. Even if you are dead you will still be alive on the memories of the people, you don’t need to be Albert Einstein to be immortal, just add something to the society. Even after you die, people will still remember you and you will make them smile. That’s absolutely priceless, being part of others’ happiness (apart from yours), is something money can’t buy.

When we are talking about missing, it seems like a sad feeling, but it shouldn’t be. Actually, we should be happy of knowing such a nice person who deserves being in our memory. Missing someone is your heart’s way of reminding you that you love them.

What about when you have a song which in your opinion belongs to a special person? The magic of the music has such a great influence regarding to strong feelings. It can change your mood, it can make you feel more energetic when you are tired and can even make you cry because of deep emotions.

I am glad that I have met many awesome people, and I am sure of this, because I miss them. They can be a lot of kilometres away but I felt them so close. It’s a priceless feeling that everyone should experience. There is not any limit in the quantity of love that you can share. Just love, be passionate, and enjoy your live, this is the main goal.

Here you have the song which inspired me for this post, enjoy it :)

Two questions that you should ask yourself more often

It’s well known that living the life is not just breathing and surviving, the life is an empty book that we are filling in as years are going by. The fact is that you can write a short, correct and boring story or you can publish a huge encyclopaedia, full of adventures, achievements, mistakes and funny stories. How to get the last one? It’s just about living the life in a more intense way, your life could be a kind of amusement park, going up and down hill, fighting in the mud and enjoying the sky.

Why not?

Living the life in an intense way can be risky and dangerous, but you can take advantage of all the experiences you add for the story of your life, even if they are horrible, you can learn for them and get over. So when you are thinking about doing something or not, it is easier to think: “why not” (in which you are turning your opinion from yes to no) instead of thinking “why should I do” (from no to yes). We are lazy to change our mind, that’s why, the why not spirit takes advantage and it can be the beginning of wonderful stories. If not, you could enjoy trying it, you need to know what is failing so as to appreciate more the success.

Could you imagine reaching the retirement and not to have cool stories to tell to your grandchildren? Come on, what a shitty life! Well, maybe you had an awesome life but you have so weird and awkward stories that are not suitable for children. In this case, probably you had some fun in your life :P

With the “why not spirit”, things will just happen and you will gain many content to your encyclopaedia. Someone will need a huge place to store all volumes :D

Who cares?

The freedom of the people is limited by different chains such as society, family, your couple, culture, friends, law, government, and so on. There are some of them that are not easy to scape, the law and government for example, but others don’t need to be a problem to enjoy our life as much as we want.

A common problem in this field is that we care too much in what people think about us. But should we? The society is full of bad and negative people who are not worthy at all, it is not interesting to be surrounded by so depressed people, and if we are, who fucking cares what they think about us? Just do whatever you want to be happy, the good people will not judge you, they will be there to share many cool moments and not to ruin them.

Happiness should be something that everyone must believe and go for it. The different religions of the world are fighting among them to tell us in what to believe. My advice: believe in whatever you need in order to reach the happiness, but be free to get it easier.

To sum up, I would like to cheer you up not to be influenced by people, just be yourself and don’t be afraid of being different and special, it is a reason why other people will feel envy of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn't do it because of the people but because of you. It is such an amazing goal to feel free and write your own way to the happiness.

I want to underline the fact that the “why not spirit” it is just an attitude, not a rule, so there will be moments in which you will say not. However there will be others in which you will easily say: “Come on, who cares? Let’s do it! Why not?” ;)

Solving the mystery of the Microwaves

Since few years ago, many of you have heard me mentioning the microwaves, but how can be an electronic device so protagonist? Why so many complains and disappointments? Well, the image we have in our mind it is practical just to know what is it about. In this case we are talking about a behaviour. It has been present in my last years and I can say that it is the star of my jokes’ stuff, few people knew it out from where I am coming from, but now more and more people understand this philosophy around the world, so I can say that I am a kind of prophet who is advertising to the society about the risk of being microwaved.

It is said that the microwave person is the one who heats you up but doesn't cook you, but is it bad? Is it good? It depends on what are you looking for and how sensitive you are. Heating is something necessary in the field of flirting, but it could be dangerous, overheating can cause burns.

Let’s imagine a situation, for example the most common place for microwaving: a club in a Saturday night. We are surrounded by a lot of people who we probably would like few, our mind has started getting affected because of the alcohol and we are just enjoying the party. Suddenly in the middle of the night we meet someone who looks interested in us but we haven’t realised that she or he was in the disco until you start speaking. As long as the conversation is going on, our “why not” spirit is growing so probably we have started thinking that we can change our plans for tonight. Since we are not the man of steel and our balls or ovaries neither, we start feeling the attraction so our reproductive parts of the body start getting excited.

In a heated situation, we kiss, we touch and we are just thinking in the next step. In this moment we feel full of energy and with possibilities to do it, but although we try so hard we don't manage it. We ask ourselves “WTF is wrong?”, we can feel the desire on their eyes, in their kisses or even in their wet underwear, but finally you go home with a considerable balls-pain. Why? Why?

After a deep research in this field, we can consider many possible reasons:

1. Culture: In the area in which they are living is not well seeing to have sex so early, they need more time to meet the person and they need to keep their desire in order not to break the rules of their common process.

2. Insecurity: They are ready to have some kisses but they don’t feel secure enough to deal with the next step, they need more confident in the relationship.

3. The aim to keep the boy: They don’t have sex soon because they think there are some protocols so as they won’t be one night girls

4. The players: Some of them are kissing people just for feeling naughty and powerful, they are especially insensitive and they can do it also to grow their self-confidence seeing the desire of the others no matter their feelings.

It’s good to know about reasons, the first 3 are understandable, but the last one could be so cruel playing with others’ feelings. Everyone could be a player, but the match takes a certain time, after that we are over forcing, what’s more, the painful part of microwaving is for how long are you practising it and the intensity of the action.

Now we know what they are and why could the reasons be, so how can we recognise them? Actually, it’s difficult, it’s not possible to recognise them at first, we need to speak with them and figure out what kind of interest they have. However, it’s possible to face them up, their weak point is the honesty and clarity.

Most cases occur because of the lack of honesty and clarity, when the messages are sent or misunderstood between lines. Therefore, we should try to develop a clear enough and understandable conversation trying to show our aims and playing with the temperature of the process using the words and movements as tools. In every flirting situation must appear a heating (we are humans, not machines) and if we are too direct and cold, it would be like extinguishing the flame of the relationship with liquid nitrogen, we need to find the valance.

Last but not least, it is very important to know who is playing with who, so we should keep some power to be able to manage the situation. We get this power not being so easy and forcing them to make an effort so as to get what they want and appreciate it.

Anyway, if you hang out with the aim of just have fun and meet new people without expectation, it is always positive. In addition, just meet people and let the next step for other day in which the alcohol is not doing a threesome with you will help a lot. Then we’ll be able to think and act better and for sure it will be more difficult to cheat and play unfair.

Regarding to the gender of this topic, it is more usual to find girls microwaving guys, but there are cases in which it happen the opposite. It’s quite strange seeing a guy rejecting sex from a girl after kissing each other, but it can happen. Nevertheless, it is more common to find situations in which the guy shows interested in the girl but finally he is not in that way, she doesn't even get a kiss, he is just a microwave.

To sum up, take into account that just be kissing doesn't mean that we are being microwaved, it will depend on the intensity of the action. If you are playing the game of flirting you can be overheated and that can be painful not only for your feelings but also for some parts of your body, so if you want to be cooked just keep calm and look for ovens ;)